Alone on Valentine's Day

Online Dating Disasters! Recovery and Moving on… For those who have lost a partner through accident or ill health, then a day like Valentine's day can be extremely painful and horrible part of the grieving process.  Those who have gone through recent relationship breakdown can also feel be utterly miserable when faced with the loss of their 'Valentine'. However, there are a lot of 'singles' who dread yet another  Valentine's day  alone.  So here is a little bit of help…

All Alone on Valentine's Day? Well, don't get down and despondent. It is only one day in a whole year and not really a true reflection of  your 'relationship worth'.

It is natural if you see others planning romantic meals and receiving cards and gifts, to feel a little envious. However, life does not operate in a way that can ensure we always have a partner on February the 14th!  Not every one in a relationship will have a memorable or pleasant Valentine's Day. In fact some people chose not to celebrate it at all. 

What is it all about anyway?

Originally Valentine's Day it is thought to have begun as a celebration of one or more early Christian Saints named Valentinus. of course this had nothing to do with the, hearts, flowers and cards we associate it with today.

One of the first valentine associations with romantic love, is thought to have been in Chaucer's writing:
'or this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.'

Valentine's Day is also mentioned ruefully too, by Ophelia in Hamlet (1600–1601) but I do not think there would be any fine dining or giving of red roses somehow.

Eventually it  did become associated with romantic love, and is now of course, as some would say, 'a rather a commercial affair'.

   Here are a few things you can do to over come      the  Valentine's Day Blues.

  • Contact a single mate or girlfriend and have a take away and film night.
  • Have a spa day or massage treat.
  • Get all the singletons together and hit the town.
  • Treat yourself to something nice.
  • Have a pamper evening, bubble bath, face mask, do your nails and just love yourself.

  • Watch Match of the day and relish the fact that there is no female to complain.
  • Cook yourself something delicious.
  • Buy a bottle of bubbly and invite a friend over.
  • Go for that ride on your motorbike you have been promising yourself.  Wind in your hair …metaphorically speaking.
  • Go to the gym and work on 'the body'…ready for the next relationship.
  • Just relax
  • Accept the fact that this year you are going it alone..and chill.
  • Be lighthearted about the day. It can only get you down if you want to let it!

Seriously now, just do not brood or fret, as one day out of 365 is nothing to really worry about.  The law of averages tells us that at some point in our life, we will see a Feb 14 come and go all 
on our own…and you should really and truly not let it get you down.

   Try not to:

  • Look back at past relationships and become melancholy.
  • Think everyone else is having a romantic experience (they are not).
  • Start thinking negative thoughts.
  • Project doom and gloom on your romantic future.
  • Feel unloved.
  • Call up an ex out of desperation.




                    OR RELAX AND PUT YOUR FEET UP

                       There's always next year!

It is hard to understand at times, but  romantic love is a 
complicated matter, and it starts with truly loving  and accepting who we are,  before we are very good at loving another. It also involves us 'choosing' healthy relationships.
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©janslatercounselling 2014